I have never liked distance running. In fact one could say I hated running. I did it as much as I had to at the gym so I can stay fit but more than that never has appealed to me. I am just not a runner. Which is why, for those who know me especially, the next sentence is a shocking one.
Today I ran a half marathon. It was never on my bucket list of things to do. In fact, I only signed up because for the past 6 months I have been the workout partner to my good friend Laurel who has been working her tail off (literally). She made the decision then that she wanted to run a half-marathon and has been working to get her body into shape enough to do it since. She inspires me and I signed up thinking I too wanted to run my tail off with her.
Thing is, I didn’t. About a month after I signed up–and after my first few weeks of more intense running training–I remembered, I don’t like running. Never have. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to go for 8 mile training runs. Or to have to think about chaffing. Or eating Gu. Or losing toenails (as my Mom assures me happens to serious runners.) I shared my feelings with a few friends (including Laurel) and they all agreed. There was no reason I had to run.
Relieved of the burden of running the half, I settled back into my normal workouts with Laurel. The race was still her big goal and a huge milestone so I wanted her to succeed. I knew she needed to do more running outside and not on a treadmill so a month or so ago we started longer runs at the park. These runs were all about her so we ran at her pace and everything we did was to get her better prepared for her race.
Most people will tell you running is a mental game and I can attest to that. After the first run it became clear to me that Laurel could physically make it on her own but the mental challenge would be the harder battle. I was still registered for the race so I told her then that I would consider running it but only if she needed me to do it with her, at her pace, and just be her support. She thought about it and accepted my offer.
So I have known I was going to run for about a month now and frankly, I wasn’t that excited about it. This past week I had moments of “this just might be fun” but overall I thought my hatred of running would overpower the race and I imagined that I would feel a bit like a fraud at the finish line.
One of my favorite memories today was on the bus to the starting line. It was 4AM and the bus was virtually driving the race course. It was long. So long in fact Laurel and I started to giggle. “We are crazy!” “Why did we not drive this race before signing up to see what we were getting into?” “Would running a 10K first have killed you?” (This last one is from me to her.)
The race started about an hour and a half from the time we were dropped off by the bus. It was dark and cold and reminded me of what a post-apocalyptic world would look like. 10 different bonfires were flaming and people were standing around trying to keep their bodies warm. Once the race started I was ready to run just so I didn’t have to stand around anymore.
Laurel was amazing. We have this thing were I will run a bit ahead and then look back and find her. If she is okay she gives me a thumbs up and we keep moving. All I got for the first 6 miles were thumbs up. Perhaps because I didn’t need to focus so much on her in that time I slowly woke up to what was happening to me. Once I hit mile 4 or 5 I had to acknowledge, I was having fun. In fact, I was loving it. I didn’t want to walk and I didn’t have my normal internal dialogue of “I hate this” running through my mind.
Things got a little more dicey for Laurel around mile 7 when she started to get a severe cramp in her calf. We both walked and ran the next few miles which was discouraging for her because of how strong she started. “I don’t want to stop running” she said in frustration. I knew how she felt. Thankfully, the race wasn’t over for either of us and there was no other option but to finish.
I started to feel like there should be a time when I took off at my own pace and finish the race for me. At the same time I didn’t want to leave Laurel in the lurch–I told her I was running this race for her and so I didn’t want to leave her if she needed me. We talked and she was struggling with pain but she wanted me to run too and I think she let me go and worked hard to make me think she was in a better place then she actually was. (She is a good friend like that.)
Around mile 10.5 I left her and proceeded to run the final 3 miles. I don’t know how to accurately describe how I felt except that the feelings I had in the first 6 miles had not gone away. I was loving it–even when my breath started getting heavier and when my body started to hurt. I further picked up my pace during the last mile stretch and then sprinted the last 200 meters to the finish line. I thought I might faint for a minute but some water and chocolate milk made me feel a little more normal.
Laurel ran across the finish line about 15 minutes after I did. And just like that, we were finishers.
I learned several things during the race this morning that I want to record.
1. I am fitter than I think I am.
2. We humans, we can do hard things.
3. Some of the things we think of as hard, are probably easier than we thought.
I realize this is a long and involved post and I am impressed with anyone who has actually has made it this far. I just felt it was important to document what happened to me today. Some have said I was selfless in running the race with my friend’s needs in mind but the reality is she gave me an excuse to finish something I had committed to that I had so easily talked myself out of. I needed Laurel to run this race. If it weren’t for her I would never have attempted or finished it. If I weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be now researching my next race. (Which in and of itself kind of blows my mind.) For this, among so many other things, I am deeply grateful to her.
Looks like I am a runner after all. Who knew?
The half marathon has always been my favorite distance. I hope you continue running the longer distances (maybe you need to add a marathon to the bucket list now…) Oh, and let your mom know I never lost any toenails in all my years of distance running. It’s all about wearing the right shoes and socks, and having the right form. =) Way to go girl!
WAHOO! you got your medal! seriously…”next race”?
So proud of you.
Congrats on the run! I have never been a runner, but this year I’ve really been trying to get into it because I do like how I feel while (and after) I do it. I’ve been sidelined with a bad injury for over two months now and I’m really hoping I can get the motivation to pick it back up again. Laurel is lucky to have such a good friend like you to help keep her going!
Aww, congratulations! And thanks for sharing your story.
You are an inspiration with your friendship and loyalty. Congratulations to you both for finishing the race. Good going, Erin!
i have no words, my friend.
NO. WORDS.
I don’t know what I would do without you…on this race OR in life.
xoxo
you both are the cutest. and amazing.
congrats! SO proud of you.
You ARE a Runner and a very generous one as well. Guess it proves that when we help others we always help ourselves as well:-) Love and congrats to YOU!…. Laurel’s Mom
Congrats! You and Laurel have inspired me, who know, maybe I’m a runner too? We’ll see……….
Seriously awesome! Way to go! I had no idea you were doing this until yesterday. I’m glad you had fun!
WOW Erin! What a great account of your experience. I am so glad you and Laurel have had each other through this experience. I love what you two have done!! Congrats on your first (of many?) 1/2 marathons!
Go you!! I can’t believe I had to hear about this from Jon by the way. I am completely impressed with your dedication, I’ve found a love for running too, but haven’t made it past 5k.
Seriously, what an accomplishment! I am so happy for you.
YOU. ARE. AMAZING!
You are a running rockstar.
You are so inspiring. You’re a good friend, and you are amazing! Thanks for sharing your story. I saw the pictures on flickr, but this post is awesome. I would love to do that someday, and you’re right; It’s possible!
Can I be the first man to comment?
I’m beyond impressed. Good work. Now you need to knit your own running shorts.
Congratulations! I’ll be running my third 10KM this September… I don’t know if I will ever dare to run 21KM. Maybe one day, we’ll see! I loved reading your story!
erin, you rock star you! you make me want to run, and that’s saying a lot! way to go!!!
Thank you for this thoughtful and inspiring post. I can’t even imagine running that far! Now I kind of want to try it, so I guess maybe I mean my “thanks” more like “thanks a lot.” 😉
Way to go!!!! That is amazing.
Congratulations! You should be very proud. Quite the accomplishment!